The Political Sandlot

 My generation was among the last of the free-range kids. We played outside. Our parents had no idea where we were unless we were hungry, hurt, or in trouble. We were out with the sunrise and in with the streetlights... sometimes. We were free in a way my kids can only imagine and my grand-kids will never believe possible. Times were different, they were simpler. We really were free. All in one lifetime. All in one lifetime.

We didn't know it but we were bobbing in the wake of the 60's counterculture revolution and Vietnam and Watergate. I remember the Iran Hostage situation being on the TV at night and on the front pages of newspapers and the covers of magazines. I remember the image of a blindfolded man and each day, the number was higher.

And then there's Ron. He turned it around, didn't he? Well, maybe not but he got the hostages back and gave America hope again. He put us on the path to prosperity. At least, that was how it felt. Reagan was cool. He was happy and optimistic and made funny remarks and gave incredible speeches. But even the Gipper couldn't win this one. We were destined to lose.

I remember playing football with my friends back in those days. We played in the parking lot of the building we lived in. Going to the park was too much work. Yes, we even played tackle football on the asphalt. Good times.

It was a scene familiar to anyone who grew up in the real world and not pasted to a television set or portable screen. There was a group of us and someone had a football (or a soccer ball or a stick and a tennis ball...) and we would pick sides. Picking sides had a little to do with skill, but a lot to do with personality. Who did I want on my team today? It wasn't always the same kid I wanted on my team yesterday and tomorrow was a mystery too far into the future to worry about.

Sometimes, there was an odd man out. So, we often had one kid, usually one who was a little older and bigger than the rest of us, to be the quarterback for both sides. We played pretty hard and we played rough, but we played in the most honest way possible. We played to win, but we were still friends and we never kept score, at least not for long, and tomorrow was a chance to play again with the same kids, but maybe in different positions. I don't know what my record was. There are no highlights. We just played and played until our mothers called us in to shower and eat and do homework or chores. Win or lose, nothing changed. The game went on and on.

Sounds vaguely familiar, doesn't it?

Sounds like maybe the federal government. Right?

There are two sides and a president in the middle. They pretend that what they're doing is important. (I personally played in and won more Superbowls than Tom Brady, Joe Montana, Dan Marino and all those other so-called professional quarterbacks combined!)

Well, maybe what they do is important, but the difference between us and them is that we only hurt ourselves. We jammed our fingers and scraped knees and elbows. We didn't ruin lives and regulate entire populations into poverty. We didn't bomb civilians so our friends in the oil and "defense" industries can make more billions. We played and we had fun and we admitted that nothing real was happening.

Every other year, there will be an election and it will inevitably be the most important election of our lifetimes. One side of the duopoly will control the presidency and another will control one or both houses of congress and the same thing will happen fifty more times as governors and legislators tell us why the other guy sucks.

But what changes?

Nothing.

The Bidenites are telling us they are building back better and the Trumpies are telling us their guy is the only one who can make us great again but the truth is that nothing changes. Except that things get worse, but there is never a significant turnaround, no matter who is in charge. 

That's the plan. We fight over who is better and who sucks but nothing changes. It's all of them against all of us and even though we outnumber them and we know what is best for us, we keep letting them win.

Our parents knew that we were playing and we were friends, even if we got into fistfights and came home with bloody knees and chipped teeth. Our mothers and fathers could see we were just playing. Too bad the American public can't see that the government is playing with us and that we will never win. We will always lose that game because the truth is it's a bunch of little kids against a fat, pasty version of every evil we ever feared. We think some of the monsters are there to protect us, but they are just giving us a false sense of security. When the moment comes, they will take us back to their lair and suck our blood and leave us to rot with the rest of their victims.