Privatize the DMV

 It's early morning and the gray is giving way to what will be a clear but muggy South Florida day. I am the eleventh person in one of lines formed on the sidewalk outside the Pembroke Pines DMV. I have business inside and although I have arrived two and a half hours before the office opens, I know there is a chance I won't get in.

Readers who live in South Florida will understand that not having a driver license and a car is just not an option down here. I need to drive to feed my family, to run my business. Our lousy, unreliable public transportation system just doesn't cut it.

I stand out there for close to two hours. Luckily, I brought my iPad and I'm reading to pass the time. Others are watching videos on their phones or listening to music or striking up conversations with their neighbors. I like to read. So I read.

Around 8:30, I am now standing outside the building and a Very Mean Woman who works for the DMV is yelling at people, telling them they'd better have their documents ready, telling them they're in the wrong line and telling others that they're too late and they'll have to come back another day. She is rude and is acting more like a prison guard than a... whatever the hell she's supposed to be. She is Hispanic, like myself and so many others in this part of the world, but she has no patience for immigrants, this much is clear. As she works her way down the line, she is rudely dismissing or directing everyone. I pray she is polite to me because I am in no mood to be mistreated and I don't want to lose my cool and my morning. I need to get this done today.

Luckily, she looks at my documents and everything is in order. She hands me a slip of paper and directs me toward the building and mouths off at the next person. I don't even turn around to see who it is. I've seen enough prison movies to know that curiosity will get you in trouble with The Man. Better to keep my eyes front.

As I'm standing there, another bureaucrat, from inside the building, comes out to speak to Very Mean Woman. There was a misunderstanding and someone who is there for a driving test was given the wrong slip and has been sent to the line for a written test. Very Mean Woman, lets call her VMW for short, lets them know that too bad so sad, they'll have to come back. I am offended on behalf of the young woman who was there for the test. As the line inches forward the conversation continues and VMW stands her ground. The young woman, and a woman I assume is her mother, are trying to explain that this is not her fault. She was given the wrong slip of paper. VMW won't budge. Young woman begins to cry. VMW is finally overridden and the young woman will soon terrorize the roadways, phone in one hand, steering wheel in the other, eyes on her screen.

As I sit inside, in yet another line, waiting for my number to be called, I turn off my tablet and look around a little. The bureaucrats are like prison guards, snapping at people, telling them to line up on the right, not the left, tighten up the line, move forward, sit down, wait for your number to be called, turn your head and cough. Maybe not the last part. Not yet.

I can't help thinking about these people when they're at home, with their own families. I can't help thinking what their lives are like. I'm sure their friends and families don't have to stand in those lines. I'm sure they hook up their relatives. I'm sure they don't yell at their doctors this way. Or do they? Do they not see the faces of the people they love when they look at the tired faces pictured on those warm licenses they hand over? Or do they turn it off? If you turn off your humanity, does it ever really come back? I doubt it. Not without therapy.

Bureaucracy is just one more of the ways government dehumanizes us. It drives us further apart. If something as simple as getting a driver license can make you this angry, imagine the more complex, less common interactions people have with their governments. What part of government training desensitizes these people? How do they live with themselves?

The problem is that more people equals more work. More work is good if you work in the private sector. it means more money, it means job security. When you work for the government, the job security piece is already taken care of. Your pay and benefits are secure. More customers means more work for the same pay. You know you are a monopoly so there is also no reason to be nice to people. It's not like we can go down the street to the competition. Rather than gratitude, this breeds resentment.

I was once told by a college professor that government was not meant to be efficient, it was meant to be secure. Secure for whom? He couldn't say, but it's secure for the bureaucrats and the elected officials. Their jobs are secure. Their pensions are secure. Their perks are secure. We are inconveniences they must suffer to reap the benefits of their indifference.